Allan's Philosophy Podcast Headline Animator

Allan's Philosophy Podcast

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Time Heals All Wounds

Time heals all wounds. We've heard the cliche now at least a million times. Usually after we have been hurt by a loved one or someone close to us, a friend looking to comfort us will tell us this. I have heard this cliche far too many times, and I have finally figured out what I find so reprehensible about it. Yes, the statement is true. Time heals all wounds. As time goes on, newer, fresher memories help to fade the old pains we've had. Hopefully these new memories are good, and sometimes it's merely a new pain that masks an old one, but either way the statement holds true. However, I want to make an amendment to the saying if I may.

Time heals all wounds, but it doesn't dull the sword.

Yes, if you give any pain time, it will not hurt you as much as it did. However, I would now like to work back to my first truth in my 25 truths note. "I forgive, but I'll never forget." I hate when someone has hurt me and then after awhile they come back and say we should be friends. We should just start over. It's easy to say that now, time has healed the wounds that were so painful in the past. But what has changed? Why are things going to be different this time? I like to think of a physical pain analogy to help people understand my next point. If you are young and you touch a burner on a stove while it is on you will burn your hand. The pain will eventually go away, and your burns will eventually heal, but would it then be smart to go back after you're hands have healed and touch the burner again? Nothing has changed. Time has not made the outcome any different. Time is not a good reason to be friends. Because a pain was a long time ago does not mean it is nonexistent. The potential is still there. Something has to change other than time in order for our new friendship or endeavor to work out. Working back to the stove analogy, if the next time you went up to the stove and you were wearing oven mitts that would be ok. The circumstances have changed. If one of us has changed, then there is reason for re-evaluation. I'm not going to put my bare hand on the burner again. Not unless you can show me what has changed to ensure I won't get burned. It only makes sense.

Now just because you may get burned by the stove doesn't mean you should fear it or avoid it. The stove has uses. Likewise, just because a person has hurt you in the past doesn't mean you should fear them or avoid them. That's not showing forgiveness. You also don't have to make everything like it once was though to show forgiveness. Forgiveness just encompasses a specific situation or event. It is certainly possible to forgive someone and not want to be close to them because of the hurt. Because even though you can no longer feel the hurt now, doesn't mean it isn't there
Time heals all wounds
Change dulls the sword

No comments:

Post a Comment